Sickness Read online

  “She’s only seventeen,” I said as I fought back the tears. “She needs me. I’m all she has. I can’t leave her out there alone.”

  There was a long, incredibly uncomfortable moment before Dax spoke. “Where is she?”

  “Chicago.” Hadn’t I said that already? I couldn’t remember. My thoughts were so disorganized. I just couldn’t think straight after everything that had happened. It almost seemed as though I was trapped inside a dream but I knew that I wasn’t.

  “But where specifically?” Dax asked.

  I swallowed hard. “In an apartment with her boyfriend.” I frowned. “I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend. Sorry, I have no idea why I just told you that.”

  I hugged myself and sighed.

  “Is she downtown?” Blake asked.

  “I have the address but I’m not exactly sure where she is,” I said feeling like I was the worst mother of all time. They all probably thought so too. “I have to get to her.”

  Blake rubbed his whiskery chin. He started to pace and after a few steps looked up at me.

  “If you go out there now, something could happen to you and then you won’t be able to get to her. You have to be smart about this,” Blake advised. “When was the last time you spoke to her?”

  “Last night,” I said.

  “Phone?” Blake asked.

  I nodded. “It’s almost out of battery.”

  “Okay.” Blake stopped pacing and held out his hand. I stared at it, unsure of what he wanted from me. “Let’s charge your phone. I have a generator. You can try to send her another message.”

  I took out my phone and handed it to him. He took it from my hand and walked past me lightly brushing his arm against mine. I followed him as if I was afraid to let my phone out of my sight.

  He unplugged a phone and set it down on the counter. When he plugged mine into the charger, the screen lit up and I saw that I had missed a message.

  My fingers trembled as I reached over and snatched the phone away from him. I opened the message.

  It was from Maddie telling me she was down to two percent. Then I read the last words on the screen. She loves me.

  The message had come through only a minute ago. I wasn’t sure how I had missed my phone vibrating.

  My hand was shaking so much it was hard to press the button to call her. With each ring, my heart sank lower and lower. But on the third, she picked up.

  “Mom?”

  “Yes, it’s me,” I said refusing to let myself cry. Not because of the strangers surrounding me but because I needed to be strong for Maddie.

  “My phone is going to turn off, mom. I love you, okay?” Maddie said.

  I swallowed hard. “I love you, too. Remember what I told you, stay put. Do not leave. I can’t come today but I will come as soon as I safely can, do you understand me?”

  “Yes, mom. I’ll wait for you. I won’t leave. There are still people wandering around the streets. We can hear them all day and all night, calling out for help,” Maddie said with a deep sniff. “One percent.”

  “I will come for you. I promise you. Nothing will stop me.” My jaw stiffened. “Nothing.”

  “I know, mom. Please don’t take too long, okay? I’m scared. I shouldn’t have come here.”

  Someone in the background said something. It sounded like a male voice telling her that he’ll take care of her.

  “Don’t worry about that. Just stay there. Don’t leave. I have food and water and we’ll get through this together.”

  “We’re rationing what we have,” Maddie said. “What about aunt Polly and grandma? Are they okay?”

  “I’m not sure.” I could tell she was crying. “Maddie, we’ll do what we can for aunt Polly and grandma after we get together. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

  No response.

  “Maddie?” Still nothing. I twisted my head to look at the screen at just the moment the phone beeped. I knew I’d lost the call. Maddie’s phone was out of power and I wouldn’t be able to reach her again. I slammed my phone down on the counter. “Dammit!”

  A hand slid onto my shoulder and I jumped back.

  Blake held up his hand. “Sorry!”

  “No,” I said releasing a long breath. “It’s just that—”

  “You don’t have to explain,” Blake said. “I understand. This has to be incredibly difficult for you.”

  “Do you understand?” I asked sharply. “Do you have kids?”

  Blake shook his head.

  “Then, I don’t think you can understand.” I turned away from him, placing my hands on his counter. My head fell down and my eyes closed.

  His footsteps were soft as he left me alone in his kitchen. He was kind to even invite me to stay with him and I relayed him by being a jerk to him.

  My shoulders sank and my legs felt weak. It was almost as if they weren’t strong enough to hold up my entire body.

  I sucked in a breath as I grabbed my phone and tapped to call Polly. It went straight to her voicemail.

  “I’m not sure you’ll get this message but if you do, I want you to know… I love you,” I said as I drew in a sharp breath. “Stay safe.”

  I wanted to tell her to wait for me too but going to New York wasn’t an option. In fact, I hadn’t even thought about it until this moment. Even if I could find a way there, how would I ever find her? I hoped that one day I’d see my sister again but somewhere deep inside, I knew exactly how unlikely it was. Hell, I didn’t even know if she’d survived everything that was going on.

  Maybe it was better if she hadn’t. I hated even thinking it but it would have killed her to find out that Hoyt had cheated on her. It wasn’t something I would have been able to keep from her forever. I was glad though that I hadn’t told her over the phone what I’d seen in Hoyt’s office.

  I covered my mouth with my hand, unable to hold it together any longer. I gasped when I heard footsteps behind me. A muscle in my neck tightened as I turned sharply.

  “Are you okay?” Dax asked.

  I cleared my throat. “Yeah, I’m…,” I said stopping abruptly. My head shook side to side. “No. I’m done lying. I’m done trying to say the right thing so that no one gets upset or angry or whatever. The truth is no, I’m not okay.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help?” Dax asked.

  I stared at him with narrowed eyes. It was like I didn’t understand what he was saying.

  “No,” I said shaking my head. “There isn’t anything anyone can do. We’re all screwed.”

  “Maybe,” Dax said. “But maybe not. You have someone to fight for. If any of us make it, it’ll be you. I don’t have anyone or anything to fight for. It’s just me, fighting for my own life. Seems selfish, doesn’t it?”

  I twisted my fingers together as I stared into his eyes. “No,” I said shaking my head. “It’s not selfish.”

  “It is,” Dax said his lips curling up at the corners. “But I’m going to do something that’s probably crazy or stupid,” he said with a laugh. “No, it’s both. It’s crazy and stupid. I’m going to help you get to your daughter.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” I said. It wasn’t like I knew Dax or anything about him.

  He chuckled. “I’ve seen that look before. More than once, in fact. You’re worried I’m a serial killer or something aren’t you.”

  “Maybe,” I said unable to smile. I looked down, afraid to meet his eyes. I could feel that his were still on me. “It’s just that I don’t know anything about you. Getting to my daughter is my job and I wouldn’t want you taking any risks to help me.”

  Dax leaned in closer. I could smell his brisk, woodsy scent. “I’m not the kind of guy that can sit inside these four walls for very long. You’ll be doing me a favor.”

  “Why should I do you any favors?” I said cocking my head to the side.

  The confidence and charisma Dax had was oozing out of the corners of his eyes. “Why not?” His smiled grew bigger. “At least tell me you’ll think about
it.”

  “Okay,” I said with a nod. “I’ll think about it.”

  “Good,” Dax said. “You’d like having me around.”

  “Why is that?”

  He raised a brow. “Because I’m a good cook. I can make anything taste good.”

  “Is that what you did for a living?” I asked.

  “Nah,” Dax said. “It’s more of a hobby. I had to cook for myself from a young age, so I guess I got pretty good at it over the years.”

  I drew in a breath and my shoulders relaxed. “No one can use a microwave like I do.”

  “Microwaves are going to be a thing of the past,” Dax said jabbing his thumb into his chest. “That’s why you’re going to want me around.”

  “Why do you want this so badly?” I asked. “You don’t know anything about me. Maybe I’m the one that’s a serial killer.”

  “You aren’t a serial killer,” Dax said.

  “How can you be so sure?”

  Dax shrugged. “I’m good at reading people.”

  “Oh yeah? What kind of person do you think I am?”

  “Scared. Smart. Worried,” he said.

  I rolled my eyes. “That’s everyone right now.”

  “I think you were those things before,” Dax said his expression changing to something more serious. He cleared his throat and looked away from me. It seemed as though he’d seen that his words had struck a nerve. “Maybe we were all those things before too. Anyway, I’m going to make some food.”

  “Oh,” I said realizing his smile had faded. “Right.”

  He shot me a quick smile over his shoulder. “See you around?”

  “Yeah,” I said smiling back before turning to leave the kitchen.

  As I walked toward the living room, I could hear whispers. I stepped into the room and they both immediately stopped talking. It felt like I had interrupted something. Whitney stuffed her nose in a book and Blake turned toward the window.

  “Everything okay?” Blake asked without looking at me.

  “Not really,” I said.

  “Sorry to hear that,” Blake said. “She’s going to wait, right?”

  I nodded.

  “You’ll get to her,” Blake said. “You just have to be smart about it.”

  I wished I felt as confident about it as Blake and his brother seemed to be but I wasn’t. There wasn’t anything that would stop me from trying but the truth was Dax was right about me. I was scared and worried. The one thing that was missing was the smart. I didn’t know how to be smart about any of this.

  But Blake was absolutely right… I had to be smart about it because I had to get to her. Failure wasn’t an option.

  Chapter Twelve

  All four of us sat at the dining room table, eating in silence. The only sounds were from our forks clinking on the plates and the soft sips of drinking our beverages.

  Whitney had a glass of wine and Blake and Dax each had a beer. I was happy with a glass of ice-cold water. The last thing I felt like drinking was alcohol. In fact, I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d had anything alcoholic. Freddie had always drunk enough for the both of us.

  “When the perishables are gone, we’ll stop running the generator all day,” Blake said before taking a big of his steak.

  After everything, my appetite was nearly nonexistent. I was eating but it was only because I needed to if I wanted to survive.

  My daughter was miles away. I’d heard my husband get shot by the guys I was now having dinner with. My mother was killed by the medicine that was supposed to save her life. I didn’t even know what had happened to my sister. To say things were awful would be an understatement.

  “This is delicious, Dax,” Whitney said in a sweet voice. “As usual, of course.”

  “Thanks,” he said giving her a quick wink.

  “How do you all know each other again?” I asked

  Whitney looked down her nose at me for a split-second before shoveling a piece of steak into her mouth. She stared at the hunk of meat as if it were the most interesting thing she’d seen in years.

  “We were neighbors growing up,” Dax said holding his knife just above his steak as he gazed at Whitney. Perhaps he thought she was acting peculiar too. “We’ve all known each other our whole lives.”

  “How do you know Blake?” Whitney asked stabbing a piece of steak with her fork. It was the smallest piece of meat but she chewed it at least fifty times.

  “Oh,” I said setting down my utensils. “We don’t really know each other.”

  Whitney met my eyes. This time she held my gaze. “Then, why are you here?”

  My mouth dropped open and I shook my head. I had no idea what I was doing there.

  “I don’t know,” I said getting to my feet. The napkin on my lap dropped to the floor and I didn’t bother to pick it up. “I shouldn’t be here.”

  Blake’s chair squeaked as he pushed it back from the table. “She’s here because I invited her into my home. If you have a problem with that, you know where the door is.”

  “I didn’t say I had a problem with it,” Whitney said with a half-shrug. “I was simply curious. Like, if you don’t really know her how do we know that we’re safe with her.”

  “I’ve lived across the street from her ever since I moved into this house,” Blake said.

  “And you two haven’t ever met?” Whitney asked.

  I swallowed hard. “We kept to ourselves.”

  “You don’t need to explain yourself to her,” Blake said with a scowl that was entirely directed at Whitney. “This is my home. The more of us there are on our side, the better. Jesus, Whitney, you should know better.”

  “You don’t have to be a jerk,” she said lowering her eyes.

  Blake sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t like you harassing my guest.”

  “I wasn’t harassing her. We need to be sure we’re safe, right? Well, I don’t know her, so I was just trying to get to know her better,” Whitney said.

  Dax and Blake exchanged a look.

  “Please,” Blake said gesturing at my chair. “Have a seat.” Blake wiped his hands on his napkin before throwing it onto his plate. “We’re all going to have to work together. Trust one another. All hell has broken loose. The world is chaos. The more people we have on our side, the safer we’ll be. I will not tolerate anything but kindness in my house.”

  Blake sounded fatherly with his speech. And I felt like I was intruding on their family. I would have been fine sitting in my house trying to figure out how I was going to get to Maddie all by myself.

  After a few long moments of silence past, Dax opened his mouth. “That was a bit harsh, don’t you think?”

  “Mind your own business,” Blake said pointing a finger at Dax.

  The veins and tendons in Blake’s neck protruded. It looked like the one closest to his throat on the left was about to burst… until his eyes landed on mine. His shoulders relaxed but his body was still tense.

  Blake stood and walked away from the table.

  “Sorry about that,” Dax said looking around to make sure Blake wasn’t in hearing distance. “He’s been going through some shit.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “We all go through shit, right? It’s just that I really think I’ll be fine at home.”

  “No,” Dax said. “Blake is one hundred percent correct. You should stay.”

  “Yeah,” Whitney quickly added. “I don’t mean to be all like bitchy and stuff. These guys are like my brothers, so I feel very protective of them.”

  Dax leaned back in his chair. “Last year Blake’s ex-wife was killed by a drunk driver. He hasn’t gotten over it. In fact, he blames himself. He’s not usually an asshole.”

  “I didn’t even know he had been married,” I said thinking about the few times I’d seen Blake outside. It hadn’t been often, mostly just doing yard work but I never recalled seeing a woman.

  Dax nodded. “They’d been separated for some time before the actual divorce. He wante
d kids, she didn’t. It was a shit-storm from the moment they met, to be honest with you. I don’t think he ever stopped trying to make the marriage work. God only knows why.”

  There was a thud below the table and Dax winced. He glared at Whitney.

  “Oh.” I wanted to ask more about it but also, I didn’t want to pry. It wasn’t any of my business anyway. “If you think Blake is an asshole, you should have met my husband,” I muttered. “My now-deceased husband.”

  Dax and Whitney stared at me. It seemed they weren’t sure how to respond.

  “It’s okay. I wanted a divorce,” I said chewing my lip for a second. “This was actually easier.”

  “Well, okay then,” Dax said with a chuckle. “We all have baggage, isn’t that right Whitney?”

  She stared at him for a long moment. “Yeah. Right.”

  “Well, this was fun,” Whitney said picking up her plate and then Blake’s. “I guess I’ll do the dishes since you cooked.”

  “You’re a doll,” Dax said leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

  “Are you finished?” Whitney asked looking down at my plate.

  I shook my head. “Not quite. Thanks, though.”

  “If you take too long, you’ll have to clean it yourself,” Whitney said.

  “Not a problem,” I said with a tight-lipped smile.

  After she left the room, Dax leaned forward. “Sorry, you had to be here for all that. Our family is complicated.”

  “Most families are, aren’t they?” I asked taking another bite. “She doesn’t like me much, though.”

  “Whitney? Yeah, try not to take it personally.” Dax drummed his fingers quickly on the table top. “She doesn’t really like anyone. Well, like ninety-nine percent of people. Whitney is good at finding faults in people.”

  “Seems like she likes you and Blake just fine.”

  “We’re the only ones. Everyone else has something wrong with them.” Dax smiled. “What she doesn’t realize though is that Blake and I are just as awful as everyone else.”

  I raised a brow and he chuckled.

  “That sounds bad, huh?” Dax asked.

  “A little.”

  “We’re not any better or any worse than anyone else. Blake and I are human too.” Dax stood and pointed at my plate. “You better hurry and finish that or you’ll be doing your own dishes.”